I have a couple of “Sarah-isms” that you can almost always count on me saying. One of my very common sayings is that ‘God has more naughty children than anyone.’ This comes up as I am talking with parents who are feeling the pressure of raising their children right. Every good parent wants a good life for their child. But, so often it can be discouraging when your child has disruptive and even dangerous behavior. It can feel like a happy adulthood for your child is out of reach.
We also live in a world that is very focused on judgment, rather unfairly, I might add. People tend to post the best versions of themselves and their kids on Facebook and other social media platforms, and parents of kids (especially kids that come from hard places) can feel like they just don’t measure up as “good” parents.
Remember God has more naughty children than anyone, and we don’t judge Him to be a bad parent based on the behavior of His children.
Your child’s behavioral issues are not a reflection of you as a parent as much as they are a reflection of the trauma and other difficult experiences they have had. Their behavior is a reflection of choices they and others have made.
Your job as a parent is to provide your child to make different, healthier decisions. These decisions include not just day to day behaviors but also decisions about themselves and how they are going to treat themselves.
Remember it is absolutely essential that you are not perfect as a parent. That’s because your children are imperfect (as you well know) and they need to know that their worth is not based on perfect behavior. It’s the same for you, your worth as a parent is not based on the behavior of your children.
One last thing, it’s very important to not judge yourself in the past by the light you have now. We all have things we would have done differently and better if we had known better in the past. But, we didn’t know, so be kind to the younger, and less knowledgeable you.
God Bless!
Sarah
